The Heart of a Servant

I've always viewed the concept of a servant's heart as someone who gladly gives freely of their time, talents and resources with no expectations of anything in return.  It's not a character quality that I think many people aspire to cultivate.  Honestly, who wants to always be giving?  It's exhausting and not very rewarding, but it is a quality that I think our society could benefit more from.  Our generation is full of people who only look out for themselves and believe they're entitled to privileges they never deserved.

Yet, I somehow managed to be blessed with a husband who exhibits the epitome of the servant's heart.  How in the world did I get so blessed?  Throughout our marriage he has constantly astounded me with his willingness and joyfulness in helping me with anything and everything.  It humbles me and has definitely helped me to reevaluate my perspective on how I need to adjust my attitude when I grumble over completing tasks or fulfilling a request.  I have a long ways to go before I'll ever have the attitude he has.

And being pregnant, his servant's heart has been even more prevalent.  There's never a day that goes by that he isn't stepping in and helping me or trying to alleviate my discomforts.  Even though he can't feel my aches and pains, he sympathizes with me and never plays down what I'm experiencing.  I could list a hundred examples and go on and on about the ways he's exhibited this quality of having a servant's heart, but I'll spare you all the mushy details.

I hope that some day I will be able to exhibit this quality as well as J does.  Thankfully, I have him as a partner, and he is constantly helping me to grow as a person, so it certainly is attainable.  As the Bible states "Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." (Proverbs 27.17) 

Thanks J for having such a beautiful heart of a servant!

A Special Sort of Milestone

3 years.  Depending on the circumstances and how you view it, that can either be a short or a long amount of time. Today, Jason and I are celebrating our three year anniversary; and for me, three years feels like an incredibly short chapter on our long journey through marriage.  It's crazy to look back and think of all that has happened in this short amount of time and how much our lives will be changing from this point forward.

In three years, we've experienced what it's like to lose loved ones, gain new family members, change jobs, move homes, make new friends, travel to numerous countries overseas, and so much more.  And it's true that love is just like wine...it gets better with age.  We were madly in love when we got married and today our love is even stronger.  We are constantly marveling at the fact that we complement each other so perfectly.  His strengths are my weaknesses, his weaknesses are my strengths, and we see eye to eye on every important issue.

I am proud to say we are still in the honeymoon phase of our marriage.  Thankfully, we've never had to "work" at our relationship.  We've never second-guessed our choices and we've never had bitter fights.  I'm confident that we can stay in the honeymoon phase because we are constantly working to build a foundation that enables us to grown and maintain a strong marriage.  From our nightly prayers and daily devotionals together to developing our core values and our family's mission statement, we have a vision for how we want our marriage to be. 

And I truly do see our three year anniversary as a special sort of milestone because life before and after this milestone will be significantly different.  The addition of a little one to our family is going to change our family dynamics.  It's no longer going to just be the two of us. And when our sweet, little man comes, our roles are going to change..we'll no longer just be husband and wife but we'll become parents.  We're going to face new challenges that we've never been presented with.  But it's going to be so exciting to see where the future takes us, our family and our marriage. 

I know there are plenty of obstacles and hardships that we'll encounter in the future, but there is no one else I would rather be on this journey with.  God knew what he was doing when he put Jason in my life, because I literally could not have asked for a better man even if I knew how.  Here's to celebrating this special milestone!

Happy Anniversary, sweetheart!

Hi, My Name is Jaclyn, I'm an Ex-Facebook Stalker

"Hi Jaclyn"

At least that's what I imagine you all would say after my lovely introduction. Anyways the title is true! I don't think I've ever spent an exorbitant amount of time on Facebook. But, I used to be a regular. You know...reading every news feed updates.. investigating the occasional interesting post or picture. Learning about all these random details about old friends or acquaintances that I haven't seen or spoken to in years; discovering their cousin was pregnant, that they had a wonderful day at the park, or that their dog had just gotten a bath. Ya know, the usual.

So, one day, I was doing a Facebook friend cleaning. Sorry, I'm not a hater and I don't have anything to hide, but sometimes you wonder why you friended that person that you met for like five minutes in 2008 or why would you be friends with someone on Facebook when you know you would turn the opposite direction if you caught a glance of them at the store, just to avoid the whole catch-up convo. (Please tell me I'm not the only one who has these thoughts, and that it's not because I'm anti-social or something weird like that).

Anyways, I was done with my cleaning and had this random idea to just unsubscribe from most of my 350+ friends. (Basically, I'm still officially Facebook friends with them, I just don't get all the updates on my newsfeed about them.) There's plenty of people that don't warrant being unfriended, but also, plenty that I just really don't need to know their every move and thought. So, with the exception of all my family (including all of Jason's) and probably fifty-some friends that I stay in regular contact with, I unsubscribed from everyone else!

And, I love it. Now, I get on Facebook like twice a day, for max, five minutes. Since my newsfeed isn't overwhelmed with updates from everyone. And, therefore, I don't know all these random facts about people that I truly don't need to be so informed on. I have more time in my day for more important things, and I'm less of a creeper. And I think it suits me well!

Do you ever get overwhelmed with how invasive social networking sites can be sometimes?

Small Battles Win the War

I struggle with consistency.  I've got goals...like eat healthy, lose weight, stop spending money frivolously, use my time wisely.  So, I like to think that one day I'll figure out how to get a handle on things.  Until then, I'm going to celebrate the small battles.

1.  I switched out my side of french fries for a side of steamed vegetables.  I died a little inside as the order came out of my mouth for the waitress.  I've never done this before.
2.  I forced myself to put away the clothes, even though I was tired.  No more of this leaving the newly-laundered clothes on the chair for the next five days.  (unthinkable of OCD me, right?!?!)
3.  I really didn't want to go exercise.  Like...really, really didn't want to go.  But, I went anyways and had a great workout.
4.  I saved money and didn't order something at a restaurant when I knew I had food at home.
5.  I was on the hunt for jewelry and only ordered one piece instead of the the three pieces that I really wanted to get.

Boom!  That is all.

Lessons from My Father

I smiled inside as I looked to him from my corner on the couch.  He can be quiet and reserved, but if I get him talking, he can definitely warm up.  I love it when that happens. That's when he and I are at our closest, when we're talking about money, politics, family and travels.  Which normally means it's just us two in the room, because we can talk about this stuff till we're blue in the face and everyone else is bored out of their mind.  It's what we do.  

So, tonight was no different. And it certainly was refreshing. There's incredibly few people that I can broach all these subjects with and not have multiple disagreements with or feel like I must be careful of what I say so as not to offend them.  I'm so blessed to have a father that I look up to and can trust his wisdom.  So, we chatted.  And in the course of all this chatting and sharing thoughts, I was reminded of some important lessons, all thanks to my dad.  

-Be sensitive to others' needs, and bless others when you can. You'll never know when you'll be in a difficult situation.
Our family went through a really difficult time, years ago when my dad lost his job; probably one of the hardest times he and my mom have had to deal with.  But he shared how they discovered who some of their closest friends were because they extended a helping hand when our family was really struggling, and how he is now very sensitive to others who may be in a similar situation and now tries to be the one extending the helping hand. And while it seems obvious to help others, I'll admit I've never really thought of helping others at that level.  Sure, it's easy to help out when there's a food drive or when the donation basket is going around at church and you see tens, or hundreds, of people rallying to the cause.  But, it's certainly a little more difficult to actually act on your good intentions when no one else may be doing so.

-Family is everything.  Always be consistently working and developing those relationships.
Both my parents have lived in a different country from their families for the majority of their lives. So, the dynamics are certainly a little different than what most would consider a typical family.  But, while distance may create obstacles that aren't easy to get around, make an effort to keep those relationships strong and alive.

-Everything always works out.  While timing in life can often seem inconvenient, when you look back you'll see it was always for a reason.
Now that he can look back and see the big picture, he laughed at some of the choices he and my mom made. Some shouldn't have been made, some couldn't have been made at a more perfect time.  While Jason and I may find frustration in situations we may encounter in the future or consider difficult and untimely, he told me to just trust in God. 

-Have everything in order for when it's your time to go.  It makes it easier on everyone.
Perhaps a bit morbid for some, but I'm all about planning and appreciate the fact that he has the decency to save me the trouble.  I, in no way, look forward to the day that my parents go, but I don't want to have to fight with the logistics of everything when that time comes. 

I never thought that two hours alone with my dad could produce so many life lessons...but it did.  And I'm grateful.  They may seem obvious, but you can never be reminded too often when it comes to the important issues. So, thanks Dad...for the lessons, the time spent, and the love shared, each time we get to have one of our talks. 

Thanksgiving Reflections

This holiday weekend was a wonderful time to reflect on all that I am thankful for. It's amazing to realize how much you take for granted when life is speeding by. God truly has blessed me in so many ways. And while there's so much to be thankful for, here are a few of the things I am most thankful for.

1. Celebrating over one year of pure happiness with the love of my life. Life is so much more fun now that I get to share every special moment with him. And, I can honestly say that we've yet to have a serious fight! We have way more fun teasing each other and laughing together. And he absolutely spoils me rotten.  He always has a wonderful attitude and is eager to help me in whatever ways possible. He's my best friend and we complement each other perfectly.

2. Our jobs. God provided me with a fantastic job when I wasn't even looking for one. I get to work from home, and I get to work for a guy that I've considered a mentor and friend for over 6 years now. Jason recently started a new job on the Risk side of MSCI. He's getting to do something that's more fun, challenging and rewarding. And while it sucks that now I understand pretty much nothing that he does, I'm so happy that he's happier.

3.  Our families. First of all, I think it's phenomenal that both of our parents have wonderful, strong marriages. They love each other so deeply and with such passion, that I can only hope that Jason and my marriage can carry on their legacy. 
Then, there are days that I am so excited when I hear that Jason and Michael are planning to play golf.  And it means so much that Jason gets along so well with my family, and fits in seamlessly.  And I've had fun spending time with Charis and going on shopping dates or Jason and I meeting up with her and Chris to grab food and drinks.  There are so many families where relationships are strained and personalities clash.  But not among the Kobzas and the Cams!

I really could go on and on about the things in my life that have made me become the woman I am today.  There is so much to be thankful for.  And I give God all the glory, because every good and perfect gift comes from above. :-)

The World Keeps on Turning

There's a million items I need to check off on my to-do list.  And being a woman, God so oddly gave me the ability to allow those million items to consistently be running simultaneously through my head no matter the time of day.  I envy men and their gift of being able to take one thing at a time.  Being a woman is taxing.  I need to clean the house, been wanting to blog for forever, I need to catch up on work and spend time on developing my work Access database, desperately want to work out and I have to finalize all the details for our trip in a month.  I want to read a good book and go back to having nightly devotions with my hubby.

I keep hoping that just having a good cry will make all the items on my to-do list disappear.  Or somehow by checking one thing off my list, it will magically check off other things, instead of just adding things to my list. I guess I could keep on dreaming, but that doesn't help me make this list get smaller.  So, today, I decided I just needed to buckle down and start knocking things off my list.  So what did I do?  I played on Pinterest and caught up on months-old episodes of Private Practice and Grey's Anatomy while curled up in bed.  To be fair, I did organize the utensil drawer which so desperately needed it and did some dishes!

Because you know what I realized? That no matter how much I think I can one day clear off all the items on my to-do list and be caught up, it's never going to happen.  Sure, it's partially my fault that I add so much to my list.  But life is going to keep on going.  Deadlines are going to come and go, and days are going to fly by.  And I might as well take it easy every so often and at least attempt to take ONE thing at a time one day out of the week.  Because the world keeps on turning and life keeps on happening no matter how much I have to do or how far behind I am.  So I better enjoy smelling the roses while I can.